According to the writer, Serene Goh, changing attitudes towards sex is attributed to the influence of the online environment.
Ms Goh quotes Mr Md Yusof Ismail, a chief executive officer, as saying that “In the past virginity was an honour…now, if you are still a virgin at 15, you are not attractive.” This reflects the difference in scripts (regarding teenage sex) between the older and the present generation. Probably for the older generation, people were not expected to have sex until after they were married. But for the present generation, having sex during teenage years is deemed as commonplace and permissible. However, what Mr Yusof says may not reflect what present-day teenagers think. He is, after all, an adult and is only exposed to a small group of teenagers from the Ain Society. Providing a teenager’s take on this and comparing the two views would prove more accurate. In choosing Mr Yusof only and drawing conclusions from his statement alone, the writer shows perceptual error through omission and oversimplification.
Personally I believe that this entire article is not so much about teenage sex on the rise as it is about the ATTITUDE towards sex – having the right attitudes that will surely lead to right actions. These right attitudes and values need to be inculcated into teenagers right from when they were young, before they venture online, and yes, like the writer says, this job inevitably is given to the parents. However, before any teaching of values can begin, parents must be able to communicate well with their children. Here the writer gives certain suggestions to parents on how to understand what their children are going through on the Web. Start by paying close attention to how they talk, what they are saying and understanding the words they use. All these aspects are part of improving communication between the parents and the child.
Another area to look into would be the improvement of listening performance of both parties. For example, the writer states, “…it will also go down in history as the first time that teenagers anywhere did what adults told them to.” And in doing so she perceives that teenagers everywhere do not listen to their parents, or at least are not expected to. Instead of adopting this mindset towards their children, parents can keep an open and positive attitude and doing so allowing them (their children) to express their point of view. Also, parents can see things from their children’s perspective and seek to understand where they are coming from. In turn, children should improve their attention and evaluation towards whatever their parents are saying perhaps by acknowledging any preconceived bias, eliminating them and then being willing to give their parents a chance to state their stand.
Some questions to ponder: what is truly “right”? With the advocacy of freedom of speech and thought, the issue regarding teenage sex becomes debatable, as different people have formed their own ideas about what the moral benchmark really is. So…what should be teenagers’ attitude towards sex? What, exactly, is the moral authority we adhere to? There’s definitely something, somewhere, that draws the line and enables us to distinguish right from wrong. For if we live in a society where anything goes, then this entire debate about teenage sex would be deemed obsolete.
Reference article:
http://www.asiaone.com/News/Education/Story/A1Story20090818-161853.html
Hey liyin!
ReplyDeleteI feel that nowadays, many teenagers are not paying much attention of sex. They tend to take it too lightly and think that if their friends have done it, means it is okay for them too.
As what you've mentioned in the last few paragraphs, parents definitely have a role to play in educating them. However, teenagers today are being too open with their thinking and it is hard to keep a rein in them.
So, I agree with what you said, parents are to keep an open mind and to allow their children to voice their opinions. This will, in turn, allow the children to slowly open up to the adults.
HI LIYIN!
ReplyDeleteYou're right! I agree that teenagers engaging in sexual activities is definitely becoming increasing common. This is probably due to sex being glamorized in movies, our influential mass media. And possibly, peer pressure?
However, i disagree that parental supervision will help. This is because especially in Singapore, where we are still fairly conservative, it will be hard to educate parents about sex and actually encourage them to talk to their children about it.
Comment on mine too!
cforceleste.blogspot.com
Hello!
ReplyDeleteHaha we did a debate similar to that...or more like my points are relevant to this post!
True, with the infiltration of technology and globalisation, youth's preception towards the word "sex" is changing rapidly. No longer is this subject a forbidden topic for discussion, even schools nowadays have lessons and condom-vending machines placed in their toliets.
Despite this, I still adhere to the notion of sex as an action for biological reproduction and well, one have to admit that sex for pleasure is immoral in terms of religious beliefs.
So if one wants to enjoy such pleasure, s/he must be willing to admit his/her actions and the consequences that follows.
Hey!
ReplyDeleteI see sex more as a curiosity and I think Mr Yusof's view on teenage's views of sex is too harsh. He is stereotyping ALL teenagers to be stupid and superficial seeing sex as a measure of attractiveness? He really is degrading us teenagers and especially an insult to more of us who do not treat virginity so superficially!
I personally feel that male and female have different intentions in sex. Males sees it as scoring with a girl when he manages to get into her pants. He sees it as more of a win and to boast with to his friends. Females see it more emotionally and shows that her love for the guy is strong if she concedes to having sex with him.
I think that teenagers are not taking sex too lightly, we're just ignorant. I don't think that there is anything wrong in thinking that sex is pleasurable, and it is not wrong to indulge in sex. However, it all depends.
One should only engage in sexual activities if they know they are definitely ready to bear the consequence of STDs, or child birth, whether or not they use contraceptives. One should also know the different forms of contraceptives available, the kinds of STDs and how to cure them. Most of which, I believe teenagers are not ready for and not skilled with the knowledge. So teenagers should stay away from sex till they are ready for all these.
Sex is indeed a rather touchy issue even in our modernised society.
ReplyDeleteOne question would be, "Does modernisation equate to liberalisation of sex?" I believe that many young people think so.
However, I think that young people should always think before they act. This would then reduce the instances of premarital sex which leads to unwanted pregnancies.
Just a few months ago, my colleague produced a current affairs programme on Channel News Asia talking about teenagers' views on sex. Some of those interviewed were those who had underage sex and some contracted sexually transmitted diseases. Many interviewed regretted their impulsive actions and gave advice to the young viewers that having sex is actually not to be treated as play. Indeed I think that young people should treat sex seriously and not as play. Whether or not contraceptives are being used, the female runs the risk of getting pregnant because even doctors mentioned that they are not 100% safe.
Relating to one of my posts, I feel that for married couples, sex should also not be taken as a must. If either party forces it upon the other, that would constitute marital rape. I personally feel that women are usually at the victimised end and yet many are unaware that it is actually rape while others are afraid to verbalise it.
Whatever it is, I strongly feel that communication serves a very important role when it comes to the issue of sex. When one verbalises what he or she thinks(for eg. when he or she doesn't want sex), no matter whether they are married or not, the less likely that the other party will go against his or her wishes.
Lastly, I feel that education plays a very important role in moulding the views of teenagers towards sex.
=)Kai Ting
The attitude towards sex should be defined more specifically as the social norms governing sex, rather than distinct and variable individual attitudes. The “recent” observation of such a phenomenon is perhaps a trifle too slow and badly needs an update.
ReplyDeleteThe “update” refers to a revised understanding on the part of the “older” generation. It is too myopic to deem that simply because the “phrases rooted in innuendo, it stands to reason that a young person exposed to them might get curious about what they mean”.
The heart of the issue lies henceforth: while the “older” generation cringes at the apparent (to them) risque meanings of “cam-whoring, poking, hooking up, getting hitched and flirting”, it barely registers the same response in the “normal” youth.
The difference is certainly not fully accountable through merely “loose morality” or “rebellious streak of modern” youths, though they may carry their own influence. Another explaination perhaps bears more weight: in the short time of a generation, the semantics had evolved.
“Bitch” in its original use as a vulgarism, documented to the fourteenth century, suggested high sexual desire in a woman, comparable to a bitch in heat. To modern youth (eg. me) in current context, “Bitch” simply means “a very irritating girl”.
There’s no substantial notion of “high sexual desire in a woman” nor a desire on my part to fornicate. I suppose no further example is needed to illustrate the idiocy of blowing a linguistic issue out of its deserved proportions. Yup, my attitude had changed - but it’s more towards the usage of words rather than towards sex (as if it isn’t obvious enough).
everyone has a mindset of their own. certain things might seem fashionable in the present which are derived from the craze in the past. for example, hipster jeans. it was a hit in the 60's and became a hit around 2001. looking back at it now, hipster jeans are so yesteryears where it does not look cool at all on hind sight. yet, people have followed and conformed to the norms.
ReplyDeletei think the important thing that one must consider is the consequences of any action they undertake. all of us should learn to role play, where we take on the roles of others. if others would not be hurt in any way, then the action would be fine. but if it emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, or physically affects anyone negatively, then we need to be mature enough to take a step back and reevaluate the entire the entire idea.
perception and how others feel are affected are the main keys
Communication is important! That's why we are taking the course right? haha
ReplyDeleteanyway i think it is important to have good communication between you and your parents. They are more experienced in life in the sense that they will offer deeper insights than what we can see now. They will be able to guide us with their teachings and their perceptual mindset developed from their own experiences.
However, there is a tendency for them to instill their lessons learnt into us and "force" us to act the way they want us to be due to their preperceived bias like what you mentioned. Hence, i agree with you that we have to reach a point of understanding with them and be receptive towards their views but evaluate them reasonably. They are not a bunch of unreasonable people just that it's hard to change their perspectives like they would to us.
In terms of sensitive issues like sex, i believed they have their own way of thinking which the new generation may think it's out to date or conservative. I think teenagers should learn to adopt the right attitude towards this issue and not act in rebellious ways.
=)
I totally agree.
ReplyDeleteBeing a Christian, we have always known that pre-marital sex is not what God desired this thing called 'sex' to be.
I think that parents should give their children THE TALK (our parents didn't give me the talk! did they give you?), but of course, movies and celebrities and stuff like that have a much greater influence on teenagers, and also because some (NOT ALL) teenagers have no regard for their parents, so whatever goes in comes out.
For teens who want to have sex, I believe they should go the extra mile to prevent STDs or childbirth. But I guess it's better not to play around with a big issue like sex.
I hope teens will have the right attitude towards sex !
I agree with your views that social norms towards sex has changed for the most part. As I do not have much statistics on hand now, I really believe that educational institutes are not doing enough. Instead of telling teenagers to wait for the right one, they are just simply giving out condoms, telling them, "hey look here, you can do it but do it safely so you don't contract STDs alright?"
ReplyDeleteCall me an old-fashioned ding bat, I don't believe in going with the flow in something as important and personal as sexual purity.
I feel that we need to have a more open mind towards discussing sex, but we must bear in mind not to compromise moral values.
ReplyDelete