Group Communication: Who, How, Why, What.

All people who have ever walked the earth have this innate desire to belong to a group of a certain sort; they have an inherent need to be loved and accepted. In today’s post, I’m going to talk about another aspect of my life – my caregroup (otherwise known as cell group).

This group is made up of people from different schools in Singapore Institute of Management (SIM), namely RMIT, UOL and UB. Unlike social groups, we didn’t choose to be put together. Even though this caused initial interaction to be tougher, it made working together towards a common vision, building deeper friendships and growing in our understanding much more fulfilling. Some people may wonder, why is there a need for such small groups? Can’t a believer function on his/her own in the church? Well, I guess some of the reasons for us being put into small groups are, as mentioned in the lecture slides, for group synergy, meeting of members’ interpersonal needs and also to lend support and commitment. Instead of relying on an individual’s desire, skills and actions alone to do the work and serve the community, coming together as a group and putting our gifts and abilities together to achieve the same aims is much more effective. For example, Sharon is a versatile musician, Hanyun is good at organization, and Elaine is very detailed. All these attributes, if used alone, cannot amount to much. When put together, on the other hand, the impact is far-reaching and explosive. We can do so much more together. Yes, we are very different people, but in diversity there is greater cohesion as well – we are able to complement each other’s talents, cover for each other’s weaknesses and encourage each other to keep at what we’re doing.

In meeting members’ interpersonal needs and lending support, for instance, when Michelle and I were feeling tired during some class because both of us had been staying up late the past nights, Ning went to get M & M’s for us to munch on in order to keep us awake.

No matter how united we are, conflicts are unavoidable. We can get irritated at one another due to different working styles, unmet expectations and personality clashes.  However, conflicts, if handled correctly, can serve to strengthen friendships and foster trust within the community (in this case, conflict is functional). Firstly, we do our best to communicate our gripe. Instead of keeping all those unhappy feelings to ourselves, we strive to resolve it properly by communicating our unhappiness specifically and clearly, and through relevant channels like our leaders, those who can give us better advice as to how to resolve the problem. Then, we seek to speak directly to those involved and not tell the entire community, leaving out the very one person whom we have a conflict with. Side note: gossip is basically telling anyone who is not part of the problem and who cannot help you solve the problem. Lastly, we complete the resolution of the conflict with proper accountability, which is to allow others to keep us in check and ensure that we hold on to our word.

This is how we’ve maintained and improved the relationship till this day: Working together, being united in spirit and in purpose, and resolving conflicts the right way.